I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
