Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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