Someone shit on the floor
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
