At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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