Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
