i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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