I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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