my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I've blown a few things in my day
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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