I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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