i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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