would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
