Im at strip club and am horny
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
