i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
