Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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