I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
