Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
