I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
