he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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