his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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