yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
