you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
