I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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