i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
