Sry I called you an 8
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
