your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
