morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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