I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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