so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
just tell him i said nine months
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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