Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
