the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
