I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
