what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
