Kiss
Puke
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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