the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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