I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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