I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
