you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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