There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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