my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
