Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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