She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
