I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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