You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
