First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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