i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
