And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
