Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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