my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
