Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
