i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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