Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Randomize
