i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize