I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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