we made out on top of his cat.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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