she woke up with a sticky ear
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize