kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
