So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
