so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
