Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
