Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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