I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
